


Hermione the Shiteater

by Blazzze



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, F/F, F/M, Interviews, Partial Mind Control, Public Humiliation, Rape, Scat, Screenplay/Script Format, Sexual Slavery, Tattoos, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:39:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6129388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blazzze/pseuds/Blazzze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Voldemort won, Hermione Granger is used at Hogwarts as a human toilet and a free whore. Listen to a shocking interview with her taken by Rita Skeeter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hermione the Shiteater

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and make no profit from writing this story. Sorry for mistakes, it's my first story in English, which isn't my native language. Warning! This story is a kind of weird radio play. It contains watesports, scat, rape and other nasty stuff.

Interview with Hermione Granger taken by Rita Skeeter in Hogwarts, 1st June 1998. Wizarding Wireless broadcast.

  
  


RITA SKEETER. Good morning, my dear listeners. I'm Rita Skeeter, your favorite journalist, and I'm visiting Hogwarts School today. Make your wizarding wireless louder, because you'll hear the most mind-blowing interview in my career. Of course you know how our glorious and mighty Dark Lord banned all the mudbloods and blood-traitors from attending Hogwarts after He had won His rightful war a month ago. But one notorious mudblood has stayed at Hogwarts to get a proper education of another kind. Today she's going to tell us about her new role in our decent pureblood society. Well, darling, what's your name?

HERMIONE GRANGER. My name is... oh... I'm formerly known as Hermione Granger.

RITA. And how do you call yourself now?

HERMIONE. ...

RITA. Please repeat, I don't understand you.

HERMIONE. Hermione... [Sigh]. Hermione the Shiteater.

RITA. Beautiful and appropriate name for a mudblood. Could you say it loud so that each of our listeners can hear?

HERMIONE. [Sigh]. I CALL MYSELF HERMIONE THE SHITEATER, AND EVERYBODY IN HOGWARTS CALLS ME THAT TOO!

RITA. I see. You're the best friend of the most wanted criminals Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, and you were captured the battle for Hogwarts and found guilty of opposing our great Dark Lord. Am I right?

HERMIONE. Yes, you are.

RITA. But our merciful Lord let you stay in Hogwarts and imposed upon you some duties. Today we're going to speak a lot about them. Let's start our interview with some simple questions... For example, what are you wearing today, my girl?

HERMIONE. You see it for yourself, Rita.

RITA. Yes, but I want to hear it from you. So...

HERMIONE. [Sigh]. Well... I'm wearing a black collar around my neck.

RITA. Ah, the one with the message which says “Mud for mudblood”. Pretty thing. Is there something unusial in this collar?

HERMIONE. Yes... [Sigh]. It was charmed by the Dark Lord and works like some kind of mind-control device.

RITA. You mean...

HERMIONE. I mean I can't disobey any orders given to me by the Dark Lord or by his followers! It's worse than Imperius... I can't disobey even if I think that death is better than submission! [Sob]. Oh Rita, you won't believe what they make me do for their pleasure... Could you help me, please? [Sob].

RITA. Sorry, but I'm here not to help you. I have my own work to do. Nothing personal, Hermione – well, maybe slightly personal. So, what else are you wearing?

HERMIONE. T-t-tight white cotton panties... [Sob].

RITA. I see. What else?

HERMIONE. N-nothing. I'm not allowed to wear anything else.

RITA. And to be totally honest with our listeners, your panties aren't as white as you say, are they? There's nothing white – only yellow and brown! I see the huge dirty-yellow spot in front of these panties, and it seems like urine to me, my girl! Turn around, please... Yes, there's the enormous dark brown spot on your ass too – I bet it's your own shit! You're so dirty girl, Hermione. Care to explain?

HERMIONE. They made me! [sob]. They've made me poop and pee without taking off my panties for the whole month! And I can't change underwear too – I must wear this dirty stinky rag at all times!

RITA. So you used to walk around the school wearing almost nothing except yellow-brown panties, soaked in urine and shit. Everybody can see your plump tits and your dirty ass. You don't even have your wand with you!

HERMIONE. Actually... I have.

RITA. Really? Where do you keep it then? Show me.

HERMIONE. Rita, please be merciful... I can't stand it anymore... [Sob].

RITA. My girl, we've only started. So don't be silly and show me everything. Dear listeners, I see Hermione blushing like a tomato. She turns her ass to me – there's a small hole in the back of her dirty panties - she bends down, spreads her firm buttocks... Oh Merlin, what is this?

HERMIONE. It's my wand...

RITA. Well, it seems more like the base of your wand – I can't see the rest of it, because it's buried too deep in your back passage! Hermione, why did you choose so strange way of keeping the wand?

HERMIONE.  It's part of my duties too... [Sob]. I always have it up my butt. I pull the wand out of my asshole only to cast a spell, to take a dump or to be fucked in the ass. But even after that I must lick it clean from my own excrements... [sob]... and shove it back into my poor poophole!

RITA. Oh dear, it's the most unusual thing I've ever heard. By the way, Hermione, how long is your wand?

HERMIONE. Eleven inches long.

RITA. Impressive length. Is it thin? Are there any knots on it? Is the wood polished good enough?

HERMIONE. Oh Rita... my wand is rather thick with some perceptible knots. The wood is rather rough too.

RITA. So it must be very unpleasant for you to push this long knotty wand trough your tight sphincter... tell me, Hermione, what do you do to ease the discomfort? You probably use a lot of lube or push this piece of wood into your ass in a very slow, gentle manner. Or maybe your anus is so loose that you don't feel any pain at all.

HERMIONE. No... [Sob]. My asshole is as tight and sensitive as it had been before I lost my anal virginity. The only lube I'm allowed to use is my saliva, and I can't even do it gently! Each time I do it, I have to roughly shove my wand into my bum with one strong push! Every inch and knot with one push!

RITA. I know you must feel a lot of pain...

HERMIONE. You know nothing! Because after that I have to spin it three times inside my poor asshole... [Sob]. So cruelly... I cry every time I do it... [sob]. But it isn't even the worst of my tortures...

RITA. Oh, so it's time to tell our listeners about your main duties in Hogwarts! Please make your story as detailed as you can.

HERMIONE. No... No! I won't tell you about it!

RITA. My dear, thousands of wizards are waiting for your story. And I know that you are ordered to fully cooperate and answer all my questions today!

HERMIONE. [Sobs].

RITA. Well, for example, what can you say about your slutty tattoos? About the one on your stomach: “THIRSTY PISSDRINKER”. Or about the one above your buttocks: “DIRTY MUDBLOOD ANAL SLUT”. Or about the big, bold tattoo over your breasts: “MOUTH FULL OF SHIT”...

HERMIONE. Stop! Oh Merlin, I'll tell you...

RITA. Yes?

HERMIONE. I EAT SHIT! I EAT SHIT!

RITA. Well, we have already guessed it. It's quite obvious. Please give us more details. I know you don't want to speak about it...

HERMIONE. [Sob]. YOU KNOW NOTHING! THEY FORCE ME TO EAT TONS OF THEIR FOUL SHIT, TO SWALLOW EVERY FUCKING PIECE OF IT! THEY FEED ME THE FUCKING SHIT AND THE FUCKING URINE, EVERY FUCKING SLYTHERIN IN THE SCHOOL HAS SHAT INTO MY MOUTH! Oh Merlin, why are you so cruel? [Cry].

RITA. Language, miss Granger! Well, it seems that you need some time to pull yourself together. Dear listeners, we'll take a quick ad break, but after that Hermione is going to show me the place where she works as... how to call it... as a taster of human wastes. Stay with us!

  
  


AD BREAK. Dragondung Potion! Dragondung Potion is the best potion for diarrhea in the world! Use one dose per day to make your diarrhea worse! You'll be able to take a king-size dump! Try our new product - Rotten Dragondung Potion. One dose per day, and you'll have the most odorous diarrhea in the world! Tasted by Hermione Granger herself! She said «Oh Merlin, its taste is killing me! I can't eat it... I can't... [Chew]. I'll spewww...”

  
  


RITA. Well, we're here. It's Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, right? It seems like ordinary school bathroom to me. But wait a second, what is that terrible stench? I'm going to hold a breath, or I'll spew myself too... Hermione, is it from you? My girl, when did you take a bath for the last time?

HERMIONE. I'm not allowed to take baths anymore, Rita. [Sigh]. I'm ordered to cast special air-refreshment charms, so nobody except me feels that awful odor. Maybe they fell off... oh Merlin, that means I ought to recast them again!

RITA. Do me a favor. Yes, that's better. But what are you doing? Oh, I see – you pulled out your wand trough the hole in your panties to cast the spell. So now you are sucking it clean from your own excrements.

HERMIONE. Slurp... slurp... Ewww...

RITA. It's very erotic, although you obviously don't enjoy it much. Yes, your wand is really long, thick and knotty, but now it seems to be lubed enough with saliva. So show us how you force this piece of rough wood into your tight sweet butthole with one strong movement and tell our listeners all the details of this process.

HERMIONE. I... I usually stick the tip into my anus for an inch or two... like this...

RITA. Your anus is red and slightly swollen. Must be really uncomfortable for you.

HERMIONE. And now... oh Merlin... [sob]... I have to forcefully hit the base of the wand... AAAAHHH!!

RITA. You've done it! I can see only the base of the wand sticking out of your asshole.

HERMIONE. Then... [Sob]. Then I have to spin it three times inside my rectum. AAH! AAAHH! AAAAHHH! [Cry].

RITA. You wet yourself, my girl. There's the new fresh yellow spot on your panties.

HERMIONE. [Cry]. So much pain... [Cry]. You're beasts...

RITA. I'm an insect, if you remember. It doesn't matter anyway. So, let's see your working place. It seems like ordinary toilet, my listeners, but there's a message on the wall behind it, handwritten in large letters. It says “HERMIONE THE SHITEATER”. You're quite popular amongst students, my girl. Who wrote this?

HERMIONE. I did. [Sob]. I must write this message on the wall with my own shit every morning and I must lick it off the wall every evening... [Sob]. It's so humiliating...

RITA. Kinky stuff! Well, tell our listeners about your daily routines.

HERMIONE. I... eat shit?

RITA. We know it already, my dear. Let's start from the beginning. You wake up, write this message on the wall, have your breakfast...

HERMIONE. I have no breakfasts. The only thing I've been eating for the last month is shit... [sob]. Dark Lord has put a strange spell on me to make me capable of taking all the necessary nutrients straight from excrements.

RITA. What a magnificent piece of magic! Does that spell make all those human wastes more yummy for you?

HERMIONE. What? ARE YOU MAD? It's the fucking SHIT! I won't be able to get rid of that taste in my mouth even if I would be allowed to drink something except gallons of stinky piss!

RITA. Okay, okay. Please continue.

HERMIONE. I... I spend most of the day lying on the floor near a toilet bowl – yes, this one.

RITA. There's a strange semi-circular cut-out on the front edge of this bowl.

HERMIONE. It's the cut-out for my neck... oh Merlin... I put my neck in the cut-out in such a way that my head is inside the toilet bowl...

RITA. Face-up?

HERMIONE. Yes. Then I wait, looking at the ceiling and waiting for somebody to come... I never have to wait long. You see, a hell of a lot of students need to pee in the morning... [Bitter laugh].

RITA. And all of them prefer to pee right into your mouth!

HERMIONE. Yes... Well, all of the Slytherins and many from other houses too... [Sigh]. Each time when somebody comes to offer me a drink, I must open my mouth wide and take it... Oh Merlin... [Sigh]. Boys like to urinate standing up, so they're able to see disgust and shame on my face when their foul piss fills my mouth... [Sob]. They watch me gulping, catching their hot streams of piss with my lisps and drinking it. They like to spit in my mouth, to laugh, to call it the golden rain, but there's nothing “golden” in it. Their piss is disgusting, sour, bitter and salty at the same time... [Cry]. I hate that taste, but each time I must swallow every drop of their urine and even lick my lisps clean afterwards... [Cry].

RITA. What about girls?

HERMIONE. [Sobs].

RITA. Hey you, thirsty pissdrinker! Oh, sorry, I wanted to say “Hermione”. Please calm down.

HERMIONE. Easy to say... Girls? They pee sitting down, of course. It's worse in some way, because it's harder to catch the stream with mouth. I usually have someone's pussy over my head and try to nuzzle my face into it, but in the end they pee right on my head, drenching my face and hair with their foul urine... [Sob]. They often force me to eat their wet sloppy cunts after that. You know, Parkinson and Bulstrode call me a very talented cunt-eater.... [Bitter laugh].

RITA. Are you lezzie or something, Hermione?

HERMIONE. No, Rita, I'm a straight girl.

RITA. You must loathe licking other girls' snatches then. Especially when they're with piss flavor.

HERMIONE. Well, it's better than licking their assholes.

RITA. [Laugh].

HERMIONE. [Slightly hysterical laugh].

RITA. Clever girl. Do guys force you to suck their dicks too?

HERMIONE. Oh... Sometimes. Unfortunately, they prefer my poor asshole... [Sob].

RITA. We'll talk about it later. Now tell us, how many litres of urine do you drink per day?

HERMIONE. I... I don't know. Maybe around seven or ten litres... oh sweet Merlin.

RITA. Did you hear it, my listeners? Impressive! Hermione, I suppose that after drinking so much piss you often feel the need to pee too.

HERMIONE. Yes, my bladder is always rather full... 

RITA. Do you use this toilet?

HERMIONE. No! I must pee right there, without even standing up from the floor! I pee trough my soaked panties, and then I have to lie on the floor in the puddle of my own urine, feeling it drying up on my skin... [Sob]. Well, sometimes somebody tells me to “clean the mess”, and I have to lick my piss from the floor too... [cry]... my own nasty piss from the dirty floor!

RITA. Well, at least you're never thirsty... [Laugh]. Okay, I hope you're ready to tell our listeners about your main duty.

HERMIONE. About my diet of excrements, I suppose? [Bitter laugh]. You're a monster, Rita. You and all those who did this to me.

RITA. Don't change the topic, girl. _I don't care about your opinion of me_.  Your listeners are waiting for you.

HERMIONE. [Cry of despair]. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR, YOU FUCKING BUNCH OF BASTARDS?.. [Babbling]. They put their fucking asses above my face, I spread their buttocks, kiss their smelly assholes and wait until they shit in my mouth! I eat and swallow each filthy turd, each fucking piece of feces! 

RITA. ...

HERMIONE. They laugh at me, they listen how I chew and choke with mouth full of their putrid shit, trying not to vomit! I don't always succeed. I often puke while eating their poop, but they force me to eat that sickly-brown shitty vomit again! They say that I'm not so ugly with face covered in shit, vomit and tears! I lick their hairy assholes clean from last bits of excrements and THANK THEM FOR THE MEAL! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?.. [Cry].

RITA. Some details. For example, what do you feel when you see a long fat turd, which slowly slips out of an asshole? What do you feel when you know that in a second you're going to put this awful piece of shit in your mouth and taste it?

HERMIONE. I want to die... [Sob]. I want to die or get cranky. I want to never again feel their rotten goo filling my mouth...

RITA. In that case, do you swallow all this shit as quickly as possible?

HERMIONE. [Cry]. NO!.. [Cry]. No, you cheeky bitch! I'm ordered to eat each dump slowly and thoroughly to feel every shade of its flavor and taste!

RITA. Oh, it's interesting. Well, tell us about your eating habits then.

HERMIONE. Oh Merlin... Well, it depends.

RITA. Depends of?

HERMIONE. I hate you... [I _n monotonous voice]._ It depends of the kind of turds. Some are big and tough – I chew those turds for a long time, till they become a brown pasty goo, and then slowly drink that foul liquid manure... Other turds are like small pebbles – I suck them like sugar-candies, I play with them with my tongue before swallowing... [Sob]. All of them taste awfully, but the worst of all is the diarrhea of those who used that damned Dragondung Potion. 

RITA. I heard about that potion.

HERMIONE. You can't imagine it – IT'S LIKE THE FLOOD OF LIQUID SHIT WHICH FILLS MY MOUTH IN A WINK AND THEN COVERS MY FACE AND HAIR WITH AN INCH LAYER OF THE MOST DISGUISING, ROTTEN, SMELLY SHIT IN THE WORLD! It fills my nostrils too, so I'm afraid of suffocating under a pile of shit! And you know what? I fill my stomach full with that foul goo, savoring every drop and smacking my lips! I collect shit from my face and hair with my fingers to lick them clean, I die because of the taste and smell, I choke and vomit, but I continue eating!.. [Cry].

RITA. Thank you, I think it was detailed enough. What the hot and perverted stuff, my listeners. Hermione, how many times per day do you yourself take a crap?

HERMIONE. Around six or seven times, I suppose...

RITA. Wow! You're a really dirty girl. It seems like you have something like diarrhea too.

HERMIONE. Really? It's really unexpected, considering my special shitty diet. I wonder, why do I have a diarrhea, when shit-eating is so good for digestion? [Bitter laugh].

RITA. Oh, it's good to hear that you still have a sense of humor. By the way, I remember that you must shit into your panties without taking them off. Do you do it right there on the floor?

HERMIONE. No...

RITA. No?

HERMIONE. No... You see, I can take a dump only after doing one thing... I must... [Long sobs].

RITA. Hermione, we're waiting for you! Please continue.

HERMIONE. I MUST TAKE A COCK UP MY ASS EACH TIME I WANT TO SHIT! I can take a dump only after a round of brutal ass fucking! I always try to delay that moment. But often I want to shit so badly that I have no other choice but to ask some cruel students to rape my ass!.. [Sob].

RITA. How do you ask them?

HERMIONE. I stand on all fours, panties down, and beg anybody who comes near to fuck me! I never have to wait long. I beg them to use, to fuck, to rape me, I call myself the anal slut... [Sob]. I beg them to use my asshole, knowing what the hell of pain I'm going to feel... [Cry].

RITA. I understand.

HERMIONE. [Cry]. YOU DON'T! Sometimes they're gracious enough to fuck my pussy first or let me suck them off, then using my saliva or pussy juice as a lube. Sometimes they use no lube at all - they roughly shove their dicks into my poor asshole, and my stretched anus feels every fucking inch of their cocks... [sob]... oh Merlin, why all the fucking Slytherins have such big pricks... they tear me apart... [cry]... oh Merlin, too much pain... I'm afraid that one day they're going to turn my rectum inside out... and of course, I have to lick my own shit from their cocks after each rape... RITA! ARE YOU MASTURBAITINHG?

RITA. Ah! Sorry, Hermione, your story made me wet. So, do you take six or seven cocks up your ass per day?

HERMIONE. No! 

RITA. No?

HERMIONE. Sometimes... [Sob]. Sometimes there are several students waiting for their turn with me. Sometimes I have to fuck with two or three perverts in course!

RITA. So it makes...

HERMIONE. It makes ten or even twelve rounds of rough ass-fucking per day... I spend all day drinking piss, eating shit or pleasing Malfoy or some other monster with my butt... [Quiet weeping].

RITA. How awful.

HERMIONE. [Weeping].

RITA. But I don't understand one thing. You said that your back passage is very tight, but surely your asshole must be as wide as a Quidditch ring after all those brutal rapes.

HERMIONE. Oh no... [Chuckle]. My ass is charmed to stay almost virgin tight no matter how many times I was fucked. Each rape is as painful as first... [Cry]. They force their fat dicks trough my swollen sphincter and then they hammer my red aching asshole... I try not to show them how much pain I feel, but usually I end up crying and begging them to have mercy on me... [Cry]. Only after they cum in my ass can I put on my panties and fill them with my hot shit.

RITA. Wow! Did your hear it, my dear listeners? I've never masturbated so hard in my life! Okay, Hermione, we're almost done. Tell me at last about the end of your usual day. What do you do after hours of piss-drinking, shit-eating and ass-fucking?

HERMIONE. What do I do? [Chuckle]. You see, some students don't like waiting for their turn to piss or shit into my mouth. So they use two other toilets there. But in the end of a day I must clean these toilets too. Of course, I clean them using only my mouth. [Hysterical chuckle]. 

RITA. I see... Our glorious Dark Lord set really strict rules for you, Hermione. But I guess it's slightly better to eat old stale shit than fresh turds.

HERMIONE. [Hysterical laugh]. Oh, you're wrong... Why do you think I'm ordered to keep my wand? Beside bringing additional torture for my asshole? I must charm every stale piece of shit to be fresh and tasty again before eating it! Isn't it great? [Bitter laugh].

RITA. Everything is thought out. Is it your last duty?

HERMIONE. No! I must also lick the message “HERMIONE THE SHITEATER” off the wall...

RITA. The message written in your own shit. Yes, I forgot about it.

HERMIONE. Then I take off my dirty panties and stuff them into my mouth as a gag. I lay down on the floor in the puddle of my own urine and excrements, gagged with my wet and shitty panties, and try to sleep before new beautiful day. So the taste of piss and shit never leaves my mouth... [Sobs].

RITA. I want to say that I feel pity for you. But to be honest, I've never heard more disgusting, dirty and hot story than yours. My dear listeners, are you horny? I'm so wet that I could cum right now... but I better let Hermione show me her skills as a cunt-eater.

HERMIONE. WHAT?

RITA. Are you upset? I'm sure that you're always ready for a little demonstration. By the way, my bladder is full enough, and I also really want to shit... It's your chance to taste the best magical journalist's excrements! [Laugh].

HERMIONE. LEAVE ME ALONE! FUCK OFF! DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY'VE DONE WITH ME? DO YOU THINK THAT I'VE SUFFERED NOT ENOUGH? [Cry].

RITA. My dear listeners, we'll take another ad break and wait for Hermione to calm down and remember her duties. Stay with us to hear how she'll eat all my yummy human wastes!

  
  


AD BREAK. Big show on Friday evening in the atrium of Ministry of Magic! First public rape of three famous blood-traitors! Ginny Weasley, Fleur Delacour and Nymphadora Tonks will be fucked in every hole by dogs, werewolves and forest trolls in turn! See how the cry and beg while packs of awful beasts use them as cum buckets, filling them with gallons of animal cum! Hurry up to buy tickets if you want to see from the first row how their almost virgin pussies and assholes will be turned into swollen gaping fuck-holes! The ticket price is 10 galleons each.

  
  


RITA. We're back. Do you hear me, Hermione dear?

HERMIONE. ...

RITA. Please speak louder, it's slightly problematic to hear you due to your position.

HERMIONE. Yes, I hear you, Rita! Are you happy? [Sob].

RITA. [Chuckle]. Going to become very happy in the nearest future, dear. Tell our listeners where are you lying and what do you see.

HERMIONE [Sigh]. I'm lying on the toilet floor, head inside the toilet bowl, face-up. You're sitting above my head, so I see almost nothing except your buttocks and pussy, Rita. Familiar look. [Bitter laugh].

RITA. Do you find my pussy pretty?

HERMIONE.  What?.. Well, at least it's trimmed good enough.

RITA. You don't like eating hairy pussies, I suppose.

HERMIONE. I don't like eating any pussies at all! But hairy snatches are worst. Most of the Slytherin girls never shave or even trim, they prefer big hairy bushes – always with drops of piss, and after licking them I have mouth full of pubic hair... [Sob]. 

RITA. Let's talk about licking a little later. What are you going to do now?

HERMIONE. Oh Merlin... Why do I need to speak about it aloud? [Sob]. I'm going to drink your piss and then eat your pussy till you cum. Then the last part... [sob]... then I'll let you shit into my mouth... Oh Rita, please! I'll lick your pussy really, really good, but don't force me to do the last part, I beg you! No more shit-eating!

RITA. We'll see. Oh, my bladder is so full... it's on the verge of bursting. Open your mouth wide, Hermione. Yes, that way. You better swallow quickly. Here it comes... your special yellow cocktail... OH YES! [Sigh of relief].

HERMIONE. [Gulp. Gulp. Gulp].

RITA. Yes, my listeners! So much relief... I'm peeing right into Granger's mouth, and this haughty bookworm is drinking my urine! She's really swallowing it like pumpkin juice! Do you still think you're the cleverest there, Little Miss Perfect? Ah, you're too busy to answer right now. I'll use this mirror to see you better... Oh, my listeners, what a pity that you can't see Hermione's face. So disgusted, so shriveled, so reddened with shame... 

HERMIONE. [Gulp! Gulp! Gulp!]

RITA. My hot jet of piss is hitting the back of her throat, and she's trying desperately to swallow it all. Yes, take another gulp, you shameful mudblood whore! Taste it! My yellow piss is foaming in her mouth... she's gulping it like crazy. She's already crying! [Giggle]. What a crybaby. I'm almost finished... Oh, it seems that the last gulp was too big for her!

HERMIONE. [Gulp! Choke! Choke... Cough. Cough].

RITA. Yes, she choked, and now she's completely drenched in piss. What a mess! Teardrops are mixing up with drops of urine on her face, her curly hair sticked to the wet forehead. She's crying, but still eagerly licking her lips, tasting my foul drink! Can you believe in it, my listeners? Hermione, are you okay?

HERMIONE. Give me a moment... So much piss... [Panting].

RITA. Well, what can you say about the taste of my urine? Do you like it?

HERMIONE. No way! It's foul and very salty... [sob]... with the bitter after-taste. That damned taste... It's torture – trying to swallow it all and not to choke... [Sob].

RITA. And so you became very wet. I admit I became very wet too, trough in other part of body. [Playful smile]. So it's your duty to help me with this problem, girl.

HERMIONE. No problem, Rita. I got used to please women. At least, eating their cunts is better than eating their excrements... [Bitter laugh].

RITA. Oh, I have a surprise for you. [Smile]. Put out your tongue and probe this pink slit between my legs.

HERMIONE. As you wish... [Lick]. Ewww! [Spits out]. Rita! Your cunt tastes... I have no words to describe its taste! Your vagina is covered with spots of dried up white slime... It's like you haven't washed it for a month!

RITA. Don't be silly. I haven't washed it only for a week or two, I'm not sure. I made a special meal for you, didn't I?

HERMIONE. But why? [Sobs]. Why do you like to torture me? [Cry].

RITA. You're not stupid, Hermione. You should understand that being strict with mudbloods is useful for a career nowadays.

HERMIONE. So, nothing personal? [Hysterical laugh].

RITA. Speaking quite frankly, there's something personal too. I haven't forgotten your actions in the end of the Tri-Wizard tournament. For some reason people usually don't like being locked in a glass jar, and I'm not an exception. So I have no desire to make your duties easier for you.

HERMIONE. [Speaking trough gritted teeth]. Still no problem, Rita. I will do you the best cunnilingus in the world... [Sob]. I will eat your smelly and dirty cunt... I mean your sweet pussy... [Sob]. I'll even rim your asshole, but please don't make me eat your shit! I beg you!

RITA. You talk too much. Stick your telltale tongue into my wet folds and start licking them clean, you lezzie know-it-all!

HERMIONE. I'm not lesbian... [Lick. Lick. Lick].

RITA. Yes, so sweet tongue... Shove it deeply into my pussy and taste me. Good girl. Yeah, this way. Kiss my cunt. Fuck!

HERMIONE. [Lick! Lick! Lick!] Ewww...

RITA. Don't stop! Eat my dirty snatch, fuck me with your tongue... Yes, those girls trained you good. Oh! You're really a very talented cunt-eater... Oh Merlin, do it again! Yes, suck my clit. And then give a deep and sloppy kiss to my cunt.

HERMIONE. [Suck. Suck!]

RITA. Oh my dear listeners... This mudblood slut makes me feel so good. Hermione's face is covered with saliva and the layer of my woman slime, and she's cleaning each dirty spot of my pussy with her tongue! Yes, kiss it. Little woman eater... OH FUUUUCK! I'm cumming!

HERMIONE. [Labours for breath. Silent cry].

RITA. Oh... Sorry for the shouting, my listeners. Hermione's really good in pleasing women. Thank you, girl.

HERMIONE. Don't mention it. This sour taste... Oh Merlin... [sob].

RITA. If you want to wash down my pussy juice, I'll pee into your throat again with pleasure.

HERMIONE [Fastly]. No, thanks. Don't trouble yourself. Let's just finish this terrible show.

RITA. Oh, not so fast. I have one last gift for you.

HERMIONE. A gift?

RITA. Wonderful gift – it looks like shit, smells like shit and tastes like shit. To be honest, it's actually the shit.

HERMIONE. What? No! NO! I WON'T EAT YOUR SHIT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

RITA. Oh, believe me, you will.

HERMIONE. [Cry]. NO! Didn't I eat your cunt good enough? You said I had really pleased you! YOU PROMISED TO HAVE MERCY ON ME! 

RITA. I didn't promise anything like that. And if you really want to please me, show me your shit-eating skills, dear!

HERMIONE. HAVE A MERCY! Please... [Sob].

RITA. Enough! Stop that nonsense. Remember your duties. We shouldn't keep listeners waiting. You better shove your cute little nose between my buttocks... yes, this way, right into my asshole. Sniff it, take a deep breath!

HERMIONE. [Sob]. Please...

RITA. [Fart! FART! Looong farts]. Yes, sniff my farting hole. How do you like it?

HERMIONE. Oh my... [Cough]. Rita, did you use the Dragondung Potion?

RITA. Yes, I did. That potion really works! What a terrible odor... Dear listeners, it's hard for me to breath. I can't imagine how Hermione endures it. I better cast Bubblehead charm on myself. Now it's time, Hermione. Are you ready to eat your filthy meal?

HERMIONE. Please...

RITA. Describe everything you see while your mouth is still empty. Here it comes...

HERMIONE.  I see your firm buttocks and the butthole between them. Your anus is tight and crinkly, with little tiny bumps around it. It's slightly pulsing, trying to push out the big piece of shit... [Sob]. I see how the tip of the turd is sliding out of your asshole... it's deep-brown and thick, with small cracks and dark streaks. It smells like... [Sob]. I've no words. It slipped out of the asshole by an inch or so. I'm bringing my face closer to your butt... [Cry]. Now I'm going... oh Melin... I'm going to open my mouth wide and gradually take this turd... [cry]... take this turd into the mouth till my lips touch your asshole. I'm going to suck this piece of shit like a candy for some time, then I'll start to chewww...

RITA. She's doing it! She's really doing it! Hermione Granger is eating my shit! Our bossy know-it-all has bitten off a big piece of shit and now she's chewing it like a chocolate frog!

HERMIONE. [Chomping and slurping. Quiet cry].

RITA. So nasty and so hot... Hermione, I think I'm going to cum again from the sound of your chomping alone. You don't seem so proud and pure now, don't you?

HERMIONE. [Still chomping. Sobs].

RITA. Oh my faithful listeners, if only you can see Hermione's torment and shame written all over her face. Her brown eyes are wide open, hot tears pooling in them. She's breathing heavily through her nose, and I see grains of my shit on her sweet, poo-stained lips... and she's still eating her filthy meal! She's diligently savoring my big turd, even if it kills her...

HERMIONE. [Chomping and crying. Swallows]. Ewww... oh Merlin, please, please stop! Ewww... I beg you, Rita...

RITA. Oh, you've forced down the first portion.

HERMIONE. First portion?!

RITA. Yes, I still have a couple of huge dumps for you. A full course dinner in your honor!

HERMIONE. [Heavy breaths]. Have a mercy...

RITA. Oh, come on! You're Gryffindor, you're supposed to be brave. Of course, eating shit is quite unpleasant, but...

HERMIONE. Really? [Mad laugh]. Well, you could say that. Eating shit is quite unpleasant. Avada Kedavra is quite bad for the health. Mad hungry dragon was quite rude to the dragon handlers...

RITA. I got your point. Is it so bad?

HERMIONE. What, eating your body wastes? [Bitter smile]. In comparison with all those times when Draco Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle used to take turns between shitting in my mouth and raping my ass or pussy... [Sob]. _In short, I've seen worse._

RITA. Oh, still stubborn. Well, I would like to hear this story about you and Slytherin boys, but I really need to empty my bowels. It's time for another tasty dish, my dear. I think it's bigger than the first... [Fart]. Sorry. Do you see it, Hermione?

HERMIONE. I do... [Sob]. Your anus is opening, and I see the tip of a turd. Oh Merlin, it's enormous... it's as big around as a galleon!

RITA. Yes, my asshole feels so stretched... This piece of shit had been sitting in my bowels for too long, it must be ten inches long at least! It's big enough to completely fill your mouth, so I hope you're ready. Ohh... It's sliding out...

HERMIONE. No! NO! It's too big! Ewww... [Chewing].

RITA. She's doing it again! Hermione Granger took my long thick turd in her mouth... she's trying to eat my revolting shit. Don't hurry, girl! Chew it slowly, taste every bit of it.

HERMIONE. [Choking]. Ewww...

RITA. Yes, it's really hard for her. You better not vomit, Hermione, or you'll be forced to eat it again...

HERMIONE. [Still choking. Sobs and cries].

RITA. Well, my faithful listeners, while Hermione is choking down my excrements, I want to speak to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley in the name of the Dark Lord. I think you're listening to our broadcast, boys. Potter, you were called the hope of the Wizarding World, but you've lost your war. Now you're just a criminal on the run, who can't even help your mudblood friend. Did you like her story? How does it feel to know that Hermione is serving as a human toilet and a free fuckdoll while you're hiding from the Dark Lord's wrath? And all because of your stupid pro-mudblood crusade.

HERMIONE. [Desperately tries not to vomit]. 

RITA. And you, Weasley? You love this so-called “brightest witch of our age”, don't you? I wish you could see her now... see your innocent girl covered with piss and shit, see ugly vulgar tattoos on her body, see tears and sweat on her sickly gray face... Well, at least you can hear her crying and choking while she's slowly chewing my rotten shit. I bet you're wanking right now, imagining her suffering. Hmmm... Well, if it's not enough for you, then find Mr. Malfoy's wonderful book somewhere and jerk off to photos of Hermione or even your sister Ginny. You might start reading from the chapter “Scatology”.

HERMIONE. Mmmmm...

RITA. Oh? Sorry, I forgot about you, Hermione. You've been chewing my big turd for five minutes. Open your mouth, please.

HERMIONE. [Gurgling sounds].

RITA. Great, you've chewed it all! What a sight... My dear listeners, Hermione's mouth is filled with semi-liquid yellowish-brown goo, made of my excrements and her saliva. Little lumps of feces are floating in that filthy puddle... Judging by the expression on Hermione's face, it tastes even worse than smells. [Giggle]. Now the hardest part, darling. Swallow my shitty mash. I want you to slowly sip it all. I want you to feel the whole palette of flavors of my shit: the bitterness, the sourness, the putridness...

HERMIONE. [Sips it. Low gurgling in her throat].

RITA. My listeners, Hermione is exerting herself so much that her eyes are popping out of her head. I'm scare to hear her throat spasms...

HERMIONE. [Gurgling sounds]. Grrr... Grrrr... [Heavy panting]. Oh my... cough... My stomach... you can't imagine... ewww... [Cry]. 

RITA. Yes, you look really bad, Hermione. Do you still want to vomit?

HERMIONE. I do... [Sob]. Oh Merlin... I need... [Sob]. Oh no, I really need to take a dump too. [Fart].

RITA. As far as I remember, you have to take a dick up your ass before shitting.

HERMIONE. [Sobs].

RITA. Well, I'm sure that a lot of horny guys are eager to help you with your little problem... [Fart]. Oops... it seems I'm not finished with you yet. It's time for the last dish!

HERMIONE. No! [Cry]. No, no, no, no...

RITA. I'm shitting again... FUCK! [Fart. Fart! FART].

HERMIONE. AAAA! Mmmm...

RITA. Oh... My dear listeners... [Moan]. Now the Rotten Dragondung Potion really kicked in. My anus is slightly itching, and Hermione... You won't believe it. Her cute face is literally buried under the big pile of my excrements! Her lips, nose, even her brown eyes – all is covered with a layer of the stinkiest shit I've ever smelled. It's hard to believe that so much shit has come from my bowels... Let's take the last ad break – I need to get some fresh air. The stench is unbearable... even Bubblehead charm doesn't help. Nobody can stand that odor... well, nobody except Hermione, who's already eating her smelly portion!

  
  


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RITA. My faithful listeners, I'm sorry to say that it's time to end our broadcast. I hope you liked the interview with Hermione the Shiteater and all of her shameful confessions about her dirty duties...

HERMIONE. [In the background]. AAA! DRACO! PLEASE! OH MERLIN... PLEASE, NOT SO DEEP! [Smaks, slaps and grunts].

RITA. Hermione, dear, could you be a little more quiet? Well, I guess you can't.

HERMIONE. AAA! MY BUTT! HAVE A MERCY! [Cry].

RITA. Sorry for the noise, my dear listeners. It's just Hermione taking a dick up her ass. You see, our little dirty bookworm have wanted to shit too badly, and young Mr. Malfoy decided to help and fuck her ass good and hard. What a kind and noble young man! And he's really well hung too.

HERMIONE. AAAA! AAAA!!

RITA. Such a big cock... Eight inches long, I think... I'm afraid even to imagine what does Hermione feel when Draco is ramming his fat dick deep into her tight sensitive asshole. Well, let her terrible fate be a lesson to all witches and wizards. For your own sake, don't even think about opposing our great and mighty Dark Lord! Maybe he won't be _as merciful to you as to_ poor Hermione.

HERMIONE. [Screams and sobs]. MERCIFUL!? AAA!

RITA. Well, I have some good news for you, Hermione. It's the final week of your toilet duties!

HERMIONE. [With hope]. Really? AAA! MALFOY, PLEASE!

RITA. Yes. You see, our magnificent Dark Lord decided that your scat punishment has become rather boring... so for the next month you'll be living with Hogwarts house elves in their quarters, serving them as a slave and a cum bucket!

HERMIONE. What? WHAT? 

RITA. I know that after your “S.P.E.W” nonsense a lot of them think that you're some kind of evil mastermind who's been trying to tear them apart from their noble masters, and they are eager to punish you. Anyway, they don't have a choice, because Dark Lord ordered each of them to rape you at least once a week. Do you know how many house elves work at Hogwarts? A hundred or so?

HERMIONE. AAA! AAA!! AAA!!!

RITA. Just imagine it: dozens of ugly house elves using all of your fuckholes every day... You're going to be a very busy girl. Mmm... I heard that house-elves are very well hung, with disproportionately big dicks... [Giggle]. Maybe I'll take another interview with you next month to talk about your experience with them.

HERMIONE. AAA! AAA!!

RITA. Do you want to give a shout-out to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley at last? Just in case they are listening. No? Well, see your later, Hermione dear.

HERMIONE. AAA! AAA!! AAAA!!! AAAAaaa... [Fading screams, smacks and grunts].

  
  


THE END?

 


End file.
